It's quite fitting for what I'm about to tell. So let's turn up the funk and get experienced. Scratch a zip zip.
I'm returning from a trip that presented three firsts for me. First time in India. First time playing some demos for my lecture with a travel guitar. And the first time getting flown in business class, which I take to mean that finally, after all these years, I'm doing some serious business.
Now for flying in those seats you always imagine from behind the curtain. Well, as with all things it's got its perks and drawbacks. I know. You are thinking, why is this guy trying to sell me a bridge in Newcastle? Right! You're just bragging, boy.
Well, I am trying to be objective about this, so I hope you'll humor me. Plus I've got 5 hours to my next flight and I'm trying to keep from sleeping. I will however apologize for documenting a personal experience on the kids' blog. I made the rule that the blog is about the kiddos not me. I've always just been the narrator. But, if it helps I thought about the kiddos often and Julian was really curious what the experience was like so I sent him some pictures. I also wanted to document it at least for the two of us, before I forget.
Amsterdam to Delhi - Boarding Now
So, I hopped on a crowded flight from Amsterdam and Delhi. The 747 was completely packed so boarding I really did appreciate not having to do the usual arm-wrestle for the arm rest with the person next to me. Actually there was nobody next to me at all! The nearest seat was about 6 feet away. See the attached pics, Julian.
Glancing around and taking it all in, it quickly occurred to me that there is a certain air about the passengers. They seem to fly often, so not really the engaging sort. You try talking to them and they act as if they didn't hear a thing. Seriously. So if you're feeling a craving for company, well, business class is not the place for you. But if you want to stretch out, I mean really stretch out, then it can't be beat. It's like bringing a mattress on board.
The first thing that struck me as we were taking off was that at the nose of the airplane flying is like nothing I've experienced before. As the plane started to pick up speed on the runway I could really feel the front wheel below me bouncing on the cracks in the concrete during takeoff. As my teeth were about to rattle off I started to wonder why people pay for this?
After takeoff, however, the perk of being at the front became clear. It is really nice to have the engines behind you. Plus in the front you can see more things out the windows around the nose of the plane. But you also can't shake that feeling that if the plane goes down, it will probably be nose down first, and God won't care how much was paid for your seat.
The food and drink is not in larger quantities as I expected. But the food is frivolous in that they try to impress the passengers with some exotic stuff that didn't agree with my GI tract. So I had to make a lot of trips to the toilet which kind of defeats the purpose of stretching out. It felt like I spent equal time on the toilet. So the food experience is a bit like a sit down restaurant where nobody care that you're having a meal by yourself, with actual silverware and an actual plate and glass. There is also, thankfully, a toilet within reach if you need it.
The movie screen was as big as my office monitor. I thought that would be pretty sweet, but once you recline the distance to the monitor makes it seem as small as the one right in front of your nose in economy. The movie selection is also equal to what you get in economy, so I didn't get that "full-access-to-all-movies-since-the-beginning-of-time" realization I was expecting. Every time we fly off the Atlantic I never feel that I watch all the movies that I really want to. This time I felt that I had watched all one of them. Having a screen in the toilet would have helped.
The other thing I noticed was that flight staff seem to get promoted to business class only if they've mastered the art of perpetual smiling and the ability to remain pleasant next to a nuclear explosion. The way some of the business types treat the staff and how the staff give in to any nagging demand with a smile, well, it's just not healthy. I think the staff knew I was a business class foreigner. They also could sense it was my first and likely would be my last time in the posh seats.
Did I sleep stretched out? Nah. I think it's a gimmick. I am not convinced that anyone can actually sleep on a flight fully stretched out as in bed. Reclining and having the foot room is certainly without comparison, but what really would have been useful is a hidden toilet in the seat. Now I remember what I ate. Fish. Oh, yeah the lady taking care of me recommended it. Maybe that's the way they have fun with the PITA (pain in the ...) folks in that class.
(Stewardess smiles politely) "Sir, I would highly recommend the dynamite pita with a splash of mint grenades."
On the way out of the airplane you also see that the wait staff hold back the folks from the back that want to get off the plane. I wouldn't have minded staying put in the cozy seats a bit longer and letting the cramped economy folks deplane first. Instead I got those "what gives you the right you rich snob" looks.
So, did the experience spoil me for economy class? I'll soon find out on my next flight, since I don't expect to be given this opportunity again anytime soon. The experience is nice but if it happens too often nobody will appreciate it, just judging from the regulars. Better to know that you can fly in economy and long for the next opportunity to sit at the front, flying in style. Just brace during takeoff. Life's a trip.
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