Help me write a song: HEY PELE !

Julian will be 5 in a few weeks, Maya just turned 3. Maya has never had any problems sleeping through the night, it's the getting to sleep part that's tough with her. Julian has no trouble drifting off to sleep but he'll wake up at some hour and quietly sneak into our bed, steal the covers and kick me like a football all night long. And I'm too damn tired to take him back to his own bed. Each night he'll say "Dada, can I sleep in your bed tonight because I'm scared". So I say, "Julian you always sneak into our bed and then you kick me like a football all night long". He laughs. I smirk, and show my bruises. Then he says, "But dada I'm scared in my own bed". So I say, "Julian, am I scary, is Maya scary, is the alien night light scary (they actually like it, and NO it's not scary)". He says no and laughs about kicking dada like a football.

So I've decided to write a guitar song and I could use your help. It's going to be called: "I've got a footballer in my bed". Can you help me with the lyrics?

I'm serious about this, so please comment on some lyrics I can use. I know there are some creative people out there! You help with the lyrics, I'll write the music. Then I'll record it and post it online so you can hear your creation.

OUCH !